Jack C. Straton
C/o University Studies Portland State University Portland,
OR, 97207-0751 503-725-4227
 

Letters to the Editor

The Oregonian
1320 S.W. Broadway
Portland, OR 97201

Dear Editor:

This is in response to Clarence Page’s column criticizing the sexual offense policy at Antioch College, which requires verbal consent at each new stage of sexual intimacy. Mr. Page essentially blames rape on women who don’t "respect themselves enough to tell a man ‘no’ when they mean ‘no,’ whether he asks or not." He says the policy "means that before any hugging, kissing, fondling, groping, shirt unbuttoning, bra unfastening or other shenanigans can take place, you’d better ask and receive permission properly and unequivocally every step of the way, buster." Such a listing embodies the mind-set of men on the road to "scoring" that epitomizes nonconsensual sex, a.k.a. acquaintance rape.

He obviously values protecting men’s sexual access over attempts to create equality for women. He apparently prefers things as they are, with 15.4% of college women experiencing rape (committed by acquaintances 89% of the time), another 12.1% attempted rape, 11.9% sexual coercion, and 14.4% unwanted sexual contact, according to the 1987 survey of 6,159 students on 32 college campuses by Mary P. Koss.

Mr. Page’s "mind boggles at how stilted romance would become if anyone tried to follow this . . . policy to the letter." But many of us prefer removing doubts and preventing miscommunication — by talking about each level of intimacy before trying it — to coercing sexual partners unknowingly. Verbal communication frees our creativity, easily compensating for any lost spontaneity, and is the only way to hear another person enthusiastically say "Yes!" to intimacy with us. Speech has been acknowledged as the trait that separates humans from "the animals." It is past time for all men to take the evolutionary step of making sexuality a fully human experience. Grunts and gestures just don’t cut it anymore.

Sincerely,
Jack C. Straton, Ph.D.